[sticky entry] Sticky: About this blog

Jan. 1st, 2019 12:00 am
stellahibernis: (Default)
Hi, and welcome to my space!

I talk about my (fannish) interests here, along with other random life stuff.

I'm currently more invested in Captain America than is probably healthy. I'm looking to dip my toes back in the HP pool too. I write fics, and try to regularly rec stuff I like.

Please feel free to look around, to lurk or to follow. All of my posts are currently public, and I'll let you guys know if that changes (seems unlikely, but you never know).

I welcome all kinds of comments, long or short, words or emojis, on topic or sprawling away, from anyone, whether you're part of my circle or just randomly here. Anonymous commenting is on. Linking to my posts is also okay.

Here's my Marvel fic master post.

Other places you can find me:

[archiveofourown.org profile] stellahibernis | [twitter.com profile] stellahibernis | [tumblr.com profile] stellahibernis
stellahibernis: (stucky_bar)
Link to AO3

Author’s summary:
 
He has been strongly advised against picking up calls from blocked numbers. The fall of SHIELD has afforded him many enemies, and blocked numbers can’t be traced. But it’s 3 a.m., the phone is ringing, and Steve is dazed and somewhat spooked.
“Hello?” he mumbles groggily, his voice muffled by the pillow.
“Steve?”
Steve’s eyes snap open. “Bucky?”
 
Wherein: after the fall of SHIELD and the disappearance of the Winter Soldier, Steve receives an unexpected call from Bucky. It’s the first in a long series of calls that leave Steve longing for more – only, he doesn’t know Bucky’s number, whereabouts or current activities. All he can do is wait, on the other end of the line.
 
Words: 9385, Chapters: 1/1
 
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M
Characters: Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes
Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers
Additional Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, POV Steve Rogers, Phone Calls & Telephones, Bucky Discovers This Brave New World, Lots of Food, Lots of Starbucks Coffees, Eventual Christmas Fluff, Tiny bit of Angst, Peggy Dies Earlier than in CW, Happy Ending

My notes:
 
This is a lovely take on Steve and Bucky reconnecting after DC. I especially liked how the parallel tracks of Steve’s personal progression and their relationship worked, and how they weren’t necessarily at the same place all the time, which made it feel very real.
stellahibernis: (pillars of creation)
I wrote about three thousand words today, which was certainly something. On the other hand, that was something like 85% of the word count for the whole week, so the total wasn't that staggering. Multiple reasons for it, chief among them being busy at work. The four day weekend over Easter should give me some more time for writing, but that'll be balanced somewhat by the fact that I feel like I'll have the workload of five days that need to be done by Thursday, so maybe not that much opportunity/energy to write before next Friday.

All the writing was for the Cap RBB fic, which keeps coming along nicely. I'm not worried for the timeline of writing it, the deadline is well in hand and I'm happy.

Besides the writing, I continued editing Our Sharp Edges Aligned, and chapters 2 and three 3 went out this week. Even if writing will be a challenge over the work week, I'm definitely aiming to get at least chapter four polished and out during it. In all likelihood it'll be Wednesday at the earliest, but it's progressing well enough that the whole thing will still be finished on the 23rd at the latest.
stellahibernis: (stucky_bar)
Rebuilding their foundation starts by working together on regular tasks.

Read it on AO3 here.
stellahibernis: (stucky_bar)
Link to AO3

Author’s summary:
 
“About six months after he left Bucky in cryostasis in Wakanda, Steve got a text from an unidentified number: He is awake and well, and wants to see you.”
 
Steve and Bucky reunite and reconnect, with some help from modern technology.
 
Words: 45218, Chapters: 1/1
 
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Shuri, T'Challa
Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers
Additional Tags: Weekends in Wakanda, First Time, Pining, Oblivious Pining, Reunions, Sharing a Bed, Intercrural Sex, Outdoor Sex, Post-Captain America: Civil War, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Skyping, Slow Burn

My notes:
 
I really like the quiet mood in this, and the way Steve is portrayed as trying to do his best and support Bucky while sorting himself out (not that he for a long time thinks he needs to, but you know). There’s both heartfelt and funny moments in a very satisfying mix. 

Musings

Apr. 12th, 2019 05:44 pm
stellahibernis: (captain marvel)
I'm enjoying all things Captain Marvel tremendously, except for a little thing that parts of fandom does. Which is, for some reason to highlight how awesome Carol is they need to be bashing Steve. And of course it's a case of Steve being seen through the fanon lens aka stupid and has no common sense at all, yada yada, you know how I feel about that. It shouldn't have to be such a revolutionary idea that you can celebrate a character without putting others down. Also I think it's hilarious that some people consider Carol as super sensible when you know she has a reckless side and Maria has definitely sighed a lot of times over it.

Speaking of Steve and Carol, they both have the drive to do the thing they feel like they should be doing, even when others tell them they shouldn't, that they're not good enough etc. There's a very similar simmering anger in them that helps them push through when people say no. I really like that aspect in their motivation.

***

My key reactions after seeing Endgame press conference photos were basically, "DANAI GURIRA! Oh and I like Chris Evans' velvet pants and fun shoes."

That got me wondering if anyone has ever researched whether the preferences shift along with their cycle for bi/pan peeps who have a uterus and are of fertile age. I know there has been a study in which they found straight women liked men who looked like they had more testosterone (more square jaw etc) while they were ovulating than when they weren't. 

Because it was shark week for me when the press conference photos were published, and I was wondering if in a few weeks time I'll be appreciating more of Chris Evans than just his pants again:D
stellahibernis: (pillars of creation)
This was definitely an everything is happening kind of a week that was somewhat exhausting on one hand, but on the other I dealt with it a lot better than I did with similar weeks earlier this year. Having more energy is a wonderful thing, and it feeds itself too, since I've managed to get into the rhythm of regular exercise again.

When it comes to writing, I managed pretty much what I attempted. Nothing fancy, but certainly a respectable amount of work done.

I came up with the title to Our Sharp Edges Aligned at the proverbial last minute yesterday, during the final read through of the chapter. The second chapter will hopefully be posted on Tuesday(ish) and all of it will definitely be squeezed out by the 23rd.

I continued my RBB fic, which continues coming along easily, enough so that I'm sort of paranoid of how long it will last. I'm definitely enjoying it now, though. I'm contemplating on giving Steve a cat in it...

Also, is it too early to consider what the holiday (and by this I mean the one at the end of December) fic would be? I found myself thinking of that while on a walk this morning. For the last three years I've done AUs, but I kind of don't have one at the back of my mind right now. I do have a few canon divergent ideas, one of which is pretty rough going. For some reason it amused me to think of choosing that one, "happy holidays here's a bunch of angst" :D It might not work with the twelve chapter thing, though. So no decision, but that's where my head was at today, for some weird reason.
stellahibernis: (stucky_bar)
Link to AO3

Inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield was true about Bucky and Steve before the war ripped them apart, but it wasn’t all there was between them. Their relationship was a lot less straightforward, and now with all the added baggage accumulated over the years it’s even more complicated.
 
After Bucky is woken from stasis in Wakanda they have to figure out how they fit together and how to shape their relationship from now on. There’s also the newly discovered physical attraction to consider.
 
Words: 31620, Chapters: 6/8
 
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies),  Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Other Marvel Characters
Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers
Additional Tags: Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), and a bit overlap, Canon Compliant, redefining a relationship, honesty can be painful but it helps, what does compatibility even mean, Friends to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, Bucky's Wakandan goat farm, Two years of stolen moments

Notes:
 
This whole story is written, and while the editing will take some time, I’m committed to finish posting before Endgame is released. Hopefully it doesn’t go down to the finish line with me posting chapter eight on 23rd, that’s really my deadline since on Wednesday I’m rushing to the theater from work. 
stellahibernis: (stucky_bar)
Link to AO3

Author’s summary:
 
The life and times of Police Officer Steve Rogers and his dealings with the not so classy residents of his local precinct, including Bucky Barnes, the rough muscle with the dreamy blue eyes. 
 
Words: 5491, Chapters: 1/1
 
Part 1 of the These Streets ‘verse series 
 
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel), America Chavez, Clint Barton, others - Character
Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Police, Sexual Tension, Anal Sex, Swearing, Humor, Action & Romance, Cop Steve, Police officer Steve, Beefy Bucky

My notes:
 
This whole series is fun but also heartfelt with their struggle of what they want from each other, landing in to a very satisfying conclusion. I especially enjoy their frustration over how hot they think the other is:D
stellahibernis: (pillars of creation)
Apparently I forgot to do this last weekend. Oh well, let's cover the two week span then. I had one pretty unproductive (mostly due to external reasons) week, and one reasonably productive week.

I mostly worked on the Cap RBB fic, which is coming along very well. I just sent the draft of the first quarter to my artist, and I have more bits and pieces written as well. It'll be my main writing effort over the coming weeks. I'm glad writing it is fairly easy, I suspect the general energy boost is helping with that, but whatever the reason, I'll take it.

Easily flowing writing is especially welcome, since I've been immersed in my pre-IW fic since the start of the year, and the process with it mostly hasn't been easy or productive. It took entirely too long considering the word count, but the first draft is done \o/, and it's now in editing. First chapter will be out sometime next week, whenever the edits are finished, and I'll post the rest as soon as they're done. I will definitely post all eight chapters before Endgame is out.

It's funny, because the writing was such a drag, it reflected on what I thought of the story. I suspected it was entirely too slow and muddled. However, when I read it, it turned out it actually wasn't as bad as I'd suspected, which lifted my mood considerably, and I'm editing pretty happily now. I still need to come up with a title, the placeholder has been Compromises, but it definitely won't be the final one.

Things

Mar. 30th, 2019 01:40 pm
stellahibernis: (Default)
First, I've had a major energy boost. I suppose it's the combination of getting rid of the final dregs of the winter sniffles and the days getting longer. Despite work being busy (I averaged half an hour overtime every day this week), I've written more than five hundred words every day AND exercised on five days out of six. Over the previous weeks I've been lucky to manage even one of those. And there's half of Saturday yet to go, that'll probably add to my word count of the day, so that's definitely a pick up.

Speaking of energy, I bought an activity tracker, and apparently it just arrived to the post office, guess I'll go get it later when I go grocery shopping. It's the first one for me, I got it mostly for curiosity, it'll be interesting to see what it says about my sleeping patterns and how much it'll kick my ass about being too idle:D

***

The basement flood that happened last weekend wasn't apparently quite as bad for us as it might have been, we had at most about 30 cm of water, while some buildings nearer the leak had their entire basements filled. We're kind of living in a building site for a while now, since they have to repair the basement, there's a hole in the street where the water main is, and the park next to us where they pumped out the water is restricted, because they think the ground might be unsafe. They did have to cut down one tree already. I'm still happy I had nothing but my bike (which came through fine) in the basement. Everything will be compensated, but it would be a hassle.

***

I finished watching Babylon Berlin, which I liked a lot. I especially appreciated how all the characters were complicated the way real humans are. For example one of the villains that was hell of a despicable person also did some really kind things he didn't need to, which added so much depth to him. Also I appreciated how Lotte did a lot classic male-protagonist-in-detective-story stuff, aka getting things done without being too much of a stickler to the rules, and Gereon was the one who cared about going by the book, and when he had to go against it was a conflict for him. I also liked how kind and generous Lotte was despite how difficult life is for her. And Edgar, our favorite villain who apparently wanted to get our protagonist to go to therapy:D

***

It's something I should have probably expected, but there are these comparisons of Steve and Carol in MCU that posit them as opposites, with Steve more stupid and reckless than he is actually in canon, and Carol more sensible and restrained than she is. The first is an unfortunate trend already, and the latter I suppose is the usual putting our new favorite female character on pedestal. And I'm not knocking Carol down, she's one of my favorites, but it's precisely because she's fascinating in her headstrong attitude, that sometimes goes overboard. She's not perfect, but she tries to do better, which is relatable.

In fact, I'd say Carol and Steve are about as reckless as each other, and also as driven to do things despite obstacles. It's fascinating by the way, because their tendency to always get up stems from similar reasons, pushing back against people considering them second class humans. It's not the same story for them, but there definitely are similarities.

stellahibernis: (stucky_bar)
Link to AO3

Author’s summary:
 
Looking after Steve and going to Dodgers games together: the more things change, the more they stay the same. Bucky has always loved Steve, but when is he going to do something about it? 
 
Words: 16026, Chapters: 2/2
 
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: James “Bucky” Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Jasper Sitwell
Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers
Additional Tags: UST, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Sexual Tension, Pining, Light Angst

My notes:
 
This is a fun story with a comparison of back before the war and in the present, how their relationship has progressed and changed over time.

Flood

Mar. 24th, 2019 12:34 pm
stellahibernis: (winter)
The basement of our apartment building got flooded yesterday, how's everyone else's weekend going?

A water main burst under our city block, and flooded the basements of some fifteen apartment buildings. I was at home waiting for my sister to come hang out with me when the power went out; apparently they had to cut it because the control boxes were getting submerged. I just thought it was a rare random power outage, I couldn't hear the fire engines because my windows open to the back alley, and only knew of the water when my sister came up and told the park in front was full of fire fighters pumping water out of the basements.

Thankfully it wasn't personally devastating for me, the water was pumped out and the building is safe, and I've got nothing in the basement storage but my bike, which only needs a bit of cleaning and will be alright. We did go out for lunch rather than cook for ourselves, but after a couple of hours the electricity came back as well. We did miss the men's free program at the figure skating worlds that we'd planned to be nervous over together, but all in all everything's fine.
stellahibernis: (stucky_bar)

Author’s summary:
 
For the prompt: “"He’s not the Winter Soldier because they found him in the snow. Not because he’s as harsh as a Russian winter. Nor because he’s frozen in cryostasis before he can thaw fully. Winter Soldier is called such because the owner of his heart is frozen solid in the North Atlantic.” 
 
Words: 9064, Chapters: 1/1
 
Fandoms: Captain America - All Media Types, MCU, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: F/M, M/M
Characters: Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes, Natasha Romanov, Others in minor support roles
Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes/Natasha Romanov
Additional Tags:  Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Mental Health Issues, Brainwashing, making assassins, nothing graphic, Memory Loss, your normal Winter Soldier trauma

My notes:
 
I really like the fairy tale narrative style of this, with the angle of looking from outside in toward the story of the winter soldier, as well as the frozen heart device. 
stellahibernis: (stealth steve)
That is probably somewhat a head-scratcher for a title, but I’ll get to that after a brief intro.
 
For a while now I’ve been meaning to write a series on MCU-Steve, but kept stumbling on the way I first considered doing it. The problem was the format I envisioned; it would have handled approximately one movie in one post, which would have made them long enough that I usually wouldn’t have been able to do them at one sitting. As a result, whenever I had inspiration to write something longer, I went for fics instead, and hence no meta series. Until now! I decided to focus on themes instead, which will allow me to make shorter posts that I can just write and post whenever I have time for blogging. I’ll discuss canon while also commenting on the fanon and how those meet and sometimes don’t (to my great distress in some cases). I’ll try to do more than just complain about my pet peeves regarding how Steve is characterized by parts of fandom (which I admittedly have many).
 
Steve is often (lovingly, jokingly, sometimes as a rather too literal description) called a grandpa, thinking of which lead to me consider what generation he’d actually relate to, displaced as he is, and I realized he’d probably feel fairly connected with the generation that’s the same biological age as he is after waking from the ice. Born in 1918, Valkyrie in spring 1945, and waking up in spring 2012  would make him same age as those born mid-eighties (close enough to my age, as it happens), so solidly a Millennial albeit of the older half.
 
Obviously there’s the shared life experience that Steve has with those of his birth generation, and that probably helps him connect with the people that are closer to his chronological age, but there’s also the seventy years he hasn’t lived that puts them in a completely different mindset. He shares their past but not the current, because he’s taken a different path getting here. The boomers and Gen X have such a different experience compared to Steve that it’s unlikely to be a close match, and so we come to the Millennials. I don’t think I’m just projecting (although there might be some of that, too) when I say that considering the way history has progressed during our lifetime, it has landed us into a mindset that would probably feel familiar to Steve.
 
When I think of Steve after his seventy year nap, there is a very definite sense of being unmoored. The reasons for it are of course obvious, his whole life is nothing like he dreamed of or predicted. There was the major upheaval of war followed by the time jump, and he’s left having to adjust to a world that keeps betraying him, where finding solid surfaces he can rely on and people he can trust is difficult.
 
With Millennials the sense of being unmoored is very common as well. We are living now in a world that’s unlike the one we thought we’d grow into, and there’s so much more uncertainty now than there was in our childhood. The key thing for us is that we remember our childhood before the major fear of terror, before the privacy concerns of our digital life, before the uncertainty of what will happen to our way of life with climate change ramping up etc. For many of us the life we expected to live was much more secure than the reality turned out to be; with making a family, buying a house, or having a secure career are unreachable to more and more of us. It very much feels like the life we were reaching for turned out to be a mirage as conditions changed as we grew up, and we’re left grappling for solid surfaces.
 
It’s funny how appropriate it is that Steve as he is displaced in time in MCU also reflects so many of the worries and insecurities of the Millennials. Maybe that’s why he resonates so well with us, probably more than even those who made the movies originally expected. He was in many ways considered the least cool of the Avengers, but now looking back his is a story that affects countless of us. Maybe it’s because he is lost as well, or maybe it’s his determination to still move forward even when faced with uncertainty that has allowed us to grow attached to him.
 
***
 
It says part one in the title, and I’ll try to write one of these approximately every week, centering on different themes. Please feel free to make suggestions! Some that I know I’ll tackle are his recklessness, the determination to do the right thing, the effects of the serum, and how he interacts with people, including him being a leader. A while ago I made a post titled I have opinions about Steve Rogers, which isn’t exactly a part of this series, but is obviously related.
stellahibernis: (pillars of creation)
Well, this spring is definitely going to be one of those times at work, very hectic, which means my writing output will not increase as much as I expected with the spring coming and me getting more energetic (I clearly run on solar power, I need about half an hour less sleep in summer compared to winter).

This week I only worked on my Cap RBB fic, which I'm prioritizing since it's the one with an actual deadline. I did meet the goal I'd set myself for the week, so I'm pretty satisfied in general. I have a very solid detailed outline now all the way through, and I did some actual writing on it as well. More next week again.

I'm kind of itching to finish the pre-IW fic, since I only have one chapter left to write. I'm already getting to the mindset of soon being able to let it out of the gate, but it's only the second priority, so we will have to see how my coming weeks turn out. I definitely do hope to have it all posted before Endgame, which should be easily doable.
stellahibernis: (winter)
Like I mentioned yesterday I went to see the Favourite, which was delightful and hilarious, just the right mix of whimsicality with very real humanness. Also I found the choice of trailers a bit hilarious, Dumbo isn't even in the same ball park.

***

I had two bouts of cold in February, and with that and busy time at work I haven't really done any exercising in over a month. I started this morning with yoga, though, and I'm feeling much better for it, even when it was literal pain. All my muscles were tight, so the stretches were not so fun. Even right at the start I was just sitting crosslegged and breathing, and my spine made these little pops as it straightened :D

***

I've been meaning for a long time (since 2016, really) to write a series on MCU Steve, but the format I had in mind would have meant fairly long posts, ones that would take more than just one sitting to write. Which was the problem, if I had time and inclination to write something longer, it's been fic. The solution to this is to change the format, so I'll make more parts, focusing on a single aspect in each post, which makes them shorter. Starting tomorrow, hopefully.. 

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